No really – About that song
It was about ten minutes down the road when Jonathan
said “I’m glad I did that looking at a castle and not at a bus stop”.
We proceeded very, very carefully. The same can
not be said of all the other traffic on the road, but then, they
probably hadn’t just been stuck in a ditch. The roads were evil,
although it has to be said that a laden transit van is probably
not the best choice of vehicle to be using in such conditions. After
a few more miles of windy, icy, and more importantly, seriously
inclined mountain roads, we suddenly found ourselves at the back
of a traffic jam. I can honestly claim that I have never been so
happy to be stuck in a traffic jam in my entire life.
It was after a couple of minutes of silently staring
at the tail lights of the car in front when one of us, and I don’t
remember which, but whatever Jonathan says, it was probably the
other one, started singing the song. The lyrics were remarkably
simple (although they did become more complex in later versions)
and it took about two lines before the other person (whichever of
us it was) joined in. The lyrics went something like this:
We’re not in a ditch, We’re not in a ditch
We’re not, we’re not, we’re not in a ditch
We’re not in a ditch, We’re not in a ditch
We’re not, we’re not, we’re not in a ditch
Like I said, not overly complicated, but I’m sure
you’ll agree there is a certain resonance in the lyrics. A resonance
that all people who’ve been in a ditch, and who are no longer in
a ditch, will fully appreciate. We sang it with all out hearts.
The sides of the van probably vibrated to the joy of it. There are
probably still people in Poland singing its catchy little refrain,
even though they have no idea what the words mean, but they heard
it once, while they were stuck in a traffic jam, and well, it just
seemed such a joyous little ditty that they couldn’t help themselves
from joining in. The hills were alive with the sound of musings
on not being in a ditch.
We were stuck in that traffic jam for hours, and
I don’t think either of us minded a bit. Every now and again people
would walk up and down the queue of cars, and every now and again
a snow plows would negotiate their way past which appeared to be
quite an ordeal. We sat there, chatting happily, snacking on the
various things we had in the van, and basically being happy that
we weren’t in a ditch.
Occasionally we’d sing about the fact.
Eventually we wound our way around a stationary
lorry, and the road in front of us was suddenly clear. Well, it
was covered in snow, but it was clear of cars. So we were back to
making our way at a few miles an hour along the mountain roads.
My best guess is that the traffic jam was actually
caused by the fact that lorries, on recognising the seriousness
of the conditions had simply decided to stop where ever they were.
We passed dozens of them simply stopped in the road.
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