So You donít know the way to France Either
Time passes as time does, and finally it's time
to head back to the van and go and get on the ferry. We got stopped
on the way through customs, and the lovely customs lady asks to
check the back of the van. We're in plenty of time, so happily agree
to have them tear the van apart, although she just looks in the
back, realises we're a pair of clowns (I'm
not a clown, I'm a juggler) and sends us on our way with a smile.
A quick nagging doubt makes me ask if we have a
map of Europe. It turns out that we don't. At this point, alarm
bells should have started ringing. Just what sort of clown goes
on a road trip through half of Europe and doesnít think to take
a map! There should have been claxons. There should have been cannons
firing from the cliff tops. There should have been people waving
danger flags, and Lighthouses flashing in the harbor. Perhaps there
should have just been more sleep, or failing that, more coffee.
Without wanting to over stress the point, I suggested
that we get a map. I'm pretty sure that this will be quite a useful
thing to have while navigating through half a dozen different countries.
We stop at the last shop in England and pick one up.
Driving onto the ferry is uneventful enough, and
then we head up a couple of decks to find something to eat. Halfway
up the stairs Jonathan decides he canít remember if heís locked
all the doors on the van. He goes back to check while I carry on
upstairs. Anyone who doesnít know Jonathan wonít realise
thatís a joke, but it is. At the time, I didnít realise either.
We cause minor mayhem in the restaurant because
I ordered the last bit of beef, and ĎHis Jesternessí notices that
the plate it went onto had a stray molecule of something or other
on it. I think he was using Jestervision because I couldnít see
anything. The steward can't apologise enough
anyway, and goes off to resolve the problem. I was hungry - I really
didn't care. Just give me the food. I consider killing Jonathan
twice when we get back. Ten minutes later, and the steward comes
back to tell us that more beef will be ready in twenty minutes.
I have chicken.†